Inner Beauty, Inner Change

"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like." Lao Tzu

When I started out painting I didn't know what I was doing, nor did I know where I was going with the journey. I just started on the journey. In my about me section I share a bit about my beginnings - my first experiences with painting as a youth and how the frustrations and challenges of working with watercolour quickly had me loosing interest. And about how as an adult I saw things differently, the experience of watercolour being a journey - seeing the world in colour and with new values.

I painted these pictures near the beginning of my painting journey. They are introspective, thinking about perspective and how I choose to see the world.

Seeing Through Tears

Seeing Through Truth

It is funny how my experience with watercolour has linked me back to my understanding of self and the world I live in. Focusing on landscapes has led to connecting with peoples sense of self through those landscapes, and has led me to looking deeper at the landscapes within.

A while back I discussed the idea of silhouettes (you can see that post here), as I was using them at the time to portray what I felt I could not paint any other way - people. In the process of thinking about my art on a more cerebral level, I began to see that there were other ways I could learn to represent a person or animal. I looked at the painting idea where a landscape was painted within a silhouette - and thought how it showed the inner beauty. This both interested and terrified me, could I actually do this with watercolour successfully?

Life, like watercolour, is a flow.

Often watercolour flows naturally where it wants to go, and will not stay within the boundaries of what we plan. Just like life. And so I step into new territory, painting the landscapes of a person within a person's silhouette or portrait. I would love to find a way to reflect both the inner beauty and the elements of the person that make their face captivating, but am not sure how that will yet be realized. What I know for now is that even trying to visualize a person's inner self as a landscape is a bigger task than I imagined.

"To change is to live, to live is to change, and to not change is to die" Tennessee Williams

I started with myself- I know myself, but who do I represent? The person I was? The person I am? The person I hope to be? The inner child? We are always changing, and even on one day we could probably describe multiple emotional scenes that we relate to.

So here is my set of self portraits.

Capturing the Eyes

After all that navel gazing it was finally time to look outwards. My goal is to do this for others - if they wished - at some point, so I started with my family. My eldest daughter Zoe and I chatted about her thoughts about her inner self and as a mother I added my own twist to portray my turmoiled 17 year old. I wanted to show the inner beauty but also a glimpse of facial expression and more detail in the eyes.

Life is Stronger

Then to my husband, the dreamer, the introspective outdoorsman. And again, a hint of facial features, a glimpse at the man and the mind.

Trent's Wish

Will I do more? Hard to say, I have another child - who refused to have pictures done - which would fill in my family portraits. Can one capture the landscape of close friend, or extended family member? Is this something people would enjoy - landscape meets portraiture?